If you are to imagine what a classy woman is like, how will you describe her?

For me, I see a well-groomed lady with perfectly done up hair, makeup and nails, immaculately dressed in classic Chanel suit, a fitted pencil skirt and matching accessories. For some, they might imagine a woman from the high society all decked out in fine designer wear, looking gorgeous, sleek and polished. The first thing that comes to mind is usually how poised and elegant they look.

That leaves me to ponder: Is being classy all about appearance and a display of social status?

Well, apparently there’s way more to this than just looks. Here’s an interesting fact. While reading up on this topic, I found that inner qualities account for at least 50% of the makings of a classy woman, with the other 50% spread across her looks, dressing and social etiquette.

In the olden days, it might be a norm to associate aristocratic women with class. This isn’t true anymore in our present time, especially in an information-rich and meritocratic society that we live in right now. It’s no longer about the social status; anyone can become a woman of class these days.

What I’m going to share are the new rules of how you can become a true woman of class. Even if a lady belongs to the upper echelons, she will be disqualified if she don’t observe the following 7 rules:

Rule #1 – Good Mannerism

A classy woman is always well-mannered. She greets people in a friendly manner, she’s generous with her smiles and is always ready to say ‘sorry’, ‘please’, ‘thank-you’ and ‘welcome’ at the appropriate time. Being loud and foul mouth are top taboos. The moment where a woman utter expletives or talk like a public nuisance is where she is declaring to the whole world that she’s a disaster. The key here is to avoid being rude and inconsiderate to others.

Rule #2 – Think Before Speaking

A classy woman is certainly not one who babbles non-stop and let loose her tongue without any self-restrain. Gossiping and bitching about others are something that she don’t participate, even though such discussion can be going on. I know we women like to whine and complain at times, but there is a difference between sharing our problems and frustrations with others vs. maliciously talking about people behind their backs. While the former can be a bonding activity between women, the latter is often an act of putting others down to indirectly make ourselves feel better.

This applies to arguments too. While a classy woman has a right to have her own opinions and is free to express them, she also knows when to walk away from one if the argument turns heated. She does not need to win an argument just to prove her point. It doesn’t mean she accepts defeat, she is simply a gracious lady by choosing to end the discussion instead of letting anger turn her into an ugly monster like her counterpart.

Remember, a classy woman is mindful of what she speaks and never loses her cool in public.

Rule #3- Good Social Etiquette

There’s a reason why deportment classes are always in demand, and that’s because women want to learn how to carry themselves well in public by the way they walk, in their posture etc. There are many aspects to what constitute good social etiquette, but the basics always include sitting upright and not slouching, not propping your leg up on the other like a man, talking when there’s still food in your mouth, eating with mouth opened, yawning with mouth wide opened and uncovered.

When talking to people, always look straight into the person’s eyes. Shifty eyes are a sign of disrespect. A woman of class is also mindful of putting her mobile phone aside and not fiddling with it while in the middle of a conversation. She knows that attending to her phone while talking to someone shows that she is not respecting the other person’s time.

Good hygiene is also part of her lifestyle. This means no wiping of nose with her sleeves, no body odors, no burping out loud in public, or worst still, spitting and nose-digging in public (eeww!). If you have do any of these, be sure to do it in private and save yourself the damage.

Rule #4 – Modesty Is a Good Virtue

Being modest is about being to down-to-earth and humble. This means we will not expect diva-like antics, boastfulness and haughtiness coming from a classy lady. She accepts compliments with sincere gratitude, treats everyone with respect and sees no need to display power over anyone.

This also applies to her dressing. She dresses not to impress, but to express. She knows her body well enough to dress in a way that enhances her beauty. Something that will hide her flaws, fits her perfectly yet suits her style.

Flamboyant dressing, over-the-top look, showing of too much skin and cleavage is also almost a no-no. It doesn’t mean she cannot show her nice skin or cleavage at all. If she does, the purpose is always to enhance and not to attract attention, so it must be done appropriately and in good taste. A classy woman is a big fan of subtlety; she is confident enough to know that she doesn’t need to dress loudly or be seen in the latest trends all the time to make a statement.

Rule #5 – Authenticity

A classy woman is free to be herself. She laughs heartily when she’s joyful, cry when she’s sad, empathize with others who are going through pain and dances when she feels like it. She’s non-pretentious, knows how to enjoy herself and embraces life with a positive outlook. A lady with no display of emotions will come across as rigid and cold, which is not what a classy woman is about.

Rule #6 – Putting Best Face Forward

Stepping out of the house with a bare-face is a rarity for a classy woman. Unless she has perfect, flawless and even-toned skin, otherwise there will always be some makeup done to cover up their flaws. I am not saying that she has to spend hours putting on full makeup all the time. It’s usually about hiding the dark circles, toning down the puffy eyes, putting some blusher and a dab of lipstick before stepping out of the house. It can even be a simple barely-there light makeup for a casual walk in the park. The key is to look bright and healthy, not pale, tired and sickly.

Rule #7 – Confidence

This has been mentioned above, but it’s needs to be emphasized as a rule because it is a very important thing. It is what sets a classy woman apart from a showy woman.

Confidence is the foundational block, without this it is almost impossible to live as a true classy woman. Confidence means not having to play miss-nice all the time just to get others’ approval, not trying to manipulate or impress people, and certainly not putting others down and elevating oneself. It means being sure of your value and worth as a great woman no matter what people say.

A classy woman knows how to embrace and bring out her femininity. She has her own thoughts and opinions and is not afraid to speak up at the right time, but also knows when is the appropriate time to step back and tone down.

Final thoughts

As I’m writing this post, I started to remember my days of working for a high-end jewelry store. There were a number of socialites among our clientele and I can relate how true they were as a woman of class. Here are some examples:

1) Socialite A loves to attend all the high society balls and she has to wear something different every time and will not be caught dead in wearing the same thing twice.

2) Then there’s socialite B who is always in rivalry with another socialite and always want to outshine her by buying bigger and better things than her.

3) Socialite C is one who is very well-groomed and turns heads in public, but she rarely smiles and treats service staff like they are non-existent.

4) Socialite D is one that I will always remember because of her genuineness. She’s loves chatting with the service staff and finding out more about them, and even shows her concern for some. Not only does she dress well, she is friendly and warm.

5) Socialite E is well-known locally and is from a mega-rich family. She can look stunning in formal events or minimally stylish on casual days. Despite her fame and status, she is surprisingly friendly to service staff and has no diva-style requests. In fact, she is so easy to serve and she puts everyone at ease.

By now, I’m sure you can tell who are ones with real class and who are the ones that don’t. Classiness cannot be bought by money, it has to be cultivated. Sadly to say, some of these socialites haven’t quite got the point yet.

Being a true classy woman is not an easy thing. I’m sure there are more rules to what defines a classy woman. The point is we can always learn how to improve our physical aspects easily, things like style, dressing and social etiquette. Those that involve characteristic changes are the hardest, because we need time and deliberate effort to change and to adopt new habits or thinking.

If you are feeling dishearten, fret not, because I am also a work-in-progress and far from following some of the rules above. Remember, anything that requires cultivation takes time. I believe if we really aspire to be a classy woman, we can truly become one by being more mindful of these rules and making an effort to improve ourselves every day, even if its a small one. Do it often enough and it becomes our second nature. Don’t stop practicing and soon you’ll be on your way to become a true classy lady before you even realized!

So what are your thoughts on the definitions of a classy woman? Do you think it is achievable? Feel free to share your comment below.

(Header Image Credit: Irish News)