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Social Media Etiquette In The Workplace: A Top 6 List

by artofmakeover January 13, 2023

Top 6 Social Media Etiquette in the Workplace

Ever since social media has become an essential part of our daily lives, social media etiquette is probably one of the most important things to learn in this day and age, especially if you are building your professional image or aspiring to be a lady of class.

With the myriad of social media tools out there such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Tik Tok, these tools are no longer just for personal use to stay connected with friends and family but are also widely used for work and business.

Every day, tons of people share news and information, their thoughts, comments, and opinions on almost any subject imaginable.

When words get out of hand, social media can become a source of tension and discomfort instead. This can be especially sensitive in the workplace and business, which could result in serious implications that might cause harm to an employee, employer, or organization.

In this article, we will explore the basic etiquette rules on social media usage in business and the workplace, so that can you create a positive, civilized, and beneficial experience for everyone on social media.

1. No Offensive Posts (#1 taboo in social media etiquette!)

First and foremost, it is important to remember that social media is a public forum. This means that anything you post on social media can potentially be seen by anyone, including your colleagues, boss, and clients.

Therefore, it is crucial to be sensitive and mindful of what you post and how it may be perceived by others. For example, you should avoid posting anything that could be seen as offensive, inflammatory, or unprofessional to others.

This includes things like making inappropriate comments about co-workers, sharing confidential information, or posting offensive jokes or memes.

It is also important to avoid posting anything on social media that could be seen as detrimental to your professional reputation or that of your employer. This includes things like sharing sensitive or confidential information, making inappropriate comments about your job or company, or engaging in activities that could be seen as unprofessional or illegal.

2. Be Respectful

Another important rule of social media etiquette in the workplace is to be respectful of others. This means not only avoiding offensive or inappropriate content but also being considerate of others’ feelings and opinions.

For example, if you are engaged in a heated debate or argument on social media, it is important to remember that your words may be perceived as hostile or confrontational by others. In such cases, it is best not to take things too personally, but instead, suggest taking the conversation offline and discussing the issue in person.

Remember, when it comes to creating or maintaining our public image, it is all about consistency in what we say and how we behave. If we are respectful to others in person, we ought to be respectful to others online too.

3. Watch out for your ‘tone” online

It is important to be mindful of the tone and content of your online communication. Just as you would in person, be respectful, professional, and courteous in your online interactions with coworkers.

4. Seek Permission

In addition to being mindful of what you post, it is also important to be mindful of how you interact with others on social media. This includes things like avoiding excessive tagging or tagging without permission, spamming others with unsolicited messages or invitations, and not engaging in cyberbullying or harassment. By following these basic rules of social media etiquette, you can help create a positive and respectful online environment for everyone.

5. In-Person Communication (extending social media etiquette to offline)

One of the key benefits of social media is its ability to connect us with others and facilitate collaboration and communication. However, it is important to remember that social media should not be used as a substitute for in-person communication.

For example, if you have an issue or concern with a coworker, it is best to address it directly with them in person rather than airing your grievances on social media.

6. Draw Clear Boundaries

Another important aspect of social media etiquette in the workplace is to maintain a clear boundary between your personal and professional lives.

While it is perfectly fine to share personal information and experiences on social media, it is important to remember that your colleagues and clients do not need to know everything about your personal life. Knowing how to filter your posts on your personal life and not over-sharing is key to the key to maintain a good image and profile online.

In conclusion, social media is a valuable tool for staying connected and communicating with others. However, it is important to remember that our online actions and interactions can have real-world consequences.

This includes being mindful of what we post and how it may be perceived, being respectful of others, maintaining clear boundaries between our personal and professional lives, and using social media as a tool for collaboration and communication rather than a substitute for in-person interactions.

By following the basic rules of social media etiquette in the workplace, we can help create a positive and productive environment for all employees!

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How To Be A Classy Woman

by artofmakeover March 20, 2022

successful multiethnic business colleagues in modern office

Do you want to know how to be a classy woman? Contrary to popular beliefs, being classy is about more than just dressing well or having expensive possessions. There are many different facets to being a classy woman. In this article, we will discuss some of the key characteristics of classy women and provide tips on how you can emulate their behavior. So if you’re ready to learn how to walk, talk, and act like a true lady, keep reading!

Have Self-Control

One of the most important things to remember when trying to be a classy woman is to always act with dignity and grace. No matter what situation you find yourself in, it is important to maintain your composure and show respect for others, even if you disagree with the other party. The last thing you want is to engage in an argument or a nasty exchange of words which may result in a loud and heated manner. This can be difficult to do, but self-control is a key part of being classy.

Be Gracious

Another important aspect of being a classy woman is being gracious. This means always behaving in a polite and respectful manner, even when you don’t feel like it. This means that they are never rude or unkind, even to those who may deserve a good scolding. This is what it means to be gracious, which is showing grace to someone who don’t deserve it. It is about knowing how to handle yourself with poise and dignity, especially in difficult situations.

For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, you might feel angry but try not to act on it. Instead of scolding the person or showing a rude hand gesture, take a deep breath and let it go. Show grace to the person, as it’s not worth getting yourself worked up over something so minor. Try to reframe your thoughts in situations like this. For example, it helps to imagine that the person might be rushing to see a loved one is in hospital. When you do that, you will switch from being angry to becoming empathetic.

Be Considerate

Another important aspect of being a classy woman is having good manners. This means using please and thank you, holding doors open for others, and speaking kindly to those around you. Good manners show that you are respectful and considerate of others, two very important qualities in a classy lady.

Don’t Boast

Classy women are humble and don’t feel the need to boast about their accomplishments. They let their actions speak for themselves. If you’ve done something worthy of praise, others will notice and there is no need to bring attention to it yourself. This also comes back to being considerate of others – bragging can make people think more highly of themselves, hence unknowingly making others feel conscious or feeling lesser of themselves.

Be Generous

Classy women are generous, both with their time and with their possessions. They are always willing to lend a helping hand and are happy to share what they have with others. This doesn’t mean that you should give away all of your belongings – rather, be generous in the way you treat others and be willing to help whenever you can, even in small ways or in small amount. For example, you can be generous with your words, in being encouraging and speaking kind and positive words to others. You can also give your time to help a neighbour in need (e.g. caring for their plants when they are away).

Be Stylish

Lastly, a classy woman always dresses and carries herself with sophistication. This doesn’t mean that you have to wear designer clothes or spend a lot of money on your wardrobe. It simply means that you dress in a way that best suits your body and your personality. Your clothing should bring the best out of you and should also be appropriate for the occasion and something that makes you feel confident. When you look good, you feel good about yourself and this reflects positively in the way you carry yourself.

That said, this doesn’t mean that you can’t let loose and have fun from time to time. However, there is a time and place for everything. But in general, you should always be kind, gracious, and elegant in your behavior.

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How to be a Truly Confident Woman

by artofmakeover January 17, 2021

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What does it takes to be a confident woman? I mean the real kind of unshakeable confidence.

While having a good posture, a strong voice projection, good eye contact or a firm handshake are good ways to project confidence, these are only on surface level. It is often through our conversation with others will our real confidence then start to project onto others.

For example, have you ever had a conversation with someone that is all about their achievement, full of whining, complains or gossips that just leave you exhausted and not feeling that great?

I bet you had, many even a tad too many. Perhaps you just might be this person sometimes and you are not even aware. A confident person is someone who brings ‘life’ and not ‘death’ to others. It is less about themselves, and more about connecting and relating to others.

A confident person shouldn’t be proud. If it’s all about themselves, that is mostly coming from their pride and ego, a facade that they wear to display what they want to show to the world, and not their genuine self.

Let’s look at how we can recognise a real confident woman and what are some of the key traits and attitudes they usually have.

Inner traits and attitudes of a confident woman

1) They don’t compare themselves with others.

A true confident woman does not play the comparison game with other woman, knowing that this opens the doorway to pride, jealousy, envy and insecurity that are unnecessary. It might even lead us down a destructive path and never ending vicious cycle of feeling lousy, striving for perfectionism and competing with others just to get attention and feeling better about ourselves.

On the contrary, comparing yourself with others is a sign of deep-rooted insecurity and low self-esteem. It could stem from your childhood that got carried forward into your adulthood gradually without you even realising it.

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”
Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

God made everyone of us unique, we all have a combination of unique gifts, talents and abilities that nobody else has.

Maybe you are an excellent cook with exceptional culinary skills, and the person you are comparing with is really good at decorating her home and making it welcoming, but not quite good with making delicious food. Instead of comparing ourselves with others, it is better to focus and work on what we do have and compliment or encourage those who are working on their talent.

This will even help make you a good friend. Perhaps there might be a day where you can call on your talented friend for help to set the ambience at your home for a gathering where you are gonna whip up a delicious feast for your guests.

See how it is meant to be a complement, not a competition?

In short, don’t fall into the trap of unhealthy comparison with others. Start reflecting inward and see what God has already gifted and placed inside of you. These are uniquely yours and meant to be cultivated. When you start developing and using the abilities and gifts that you already have, people will respond positively to it naturally. You will feel good on the inside, and soon confidence and peace will start to follow you.

God has a defined plan and purpose for everyone of us to be unique. We are all called to live an original life and not die a copy cat.

2) They are genuine and don’t put up a perfect front

True genuineness is rare quality, especially in this day and age where social media has infiltrated our lives. It can be hard to discern if what we see and read about others online is what they are like in reality.

There is a real issue happening in our society today, where people are going for ‘perfectionism’. They only want to show the best and the most curated side of themselves while hiding away their weaknesses and vulnerability behind their polished exterior.

This is especially true for many popular celebrities, instagrammers and Youtube influencers who feel that they have to constantly publish picture perfect posts and videos in order to maintain their social image and build up their following. However, in reality they are struggling big time with insecurities, discontentment and even depression, because they are equating self acceptance with likes, comments and shares. If they don’t get the attention, they feel unloved. Just read this article and you will see that this is trap that many have fallen prey to.

While someone like that may look good on the outside and might give people the impression that she is a confident person. This kind of confidence is actually pride and insecurity in disguise – a counterfeit in other words.

True confidence comes from knowing and owning your self-worth despite what others say. It is not dictated by social media or strangers who know nothing about us and our background.

Another downside with people walking around with a ‘perfect’ facade is that will have problem building genuine and lasting friendships, because they can only connect with others on a superficial and surface level. They probably have very few or even no true friends.

True authentic connection with others is being relatable to others. It is our ability to empathise with others by engaging in deeper conversations in an open or even vulnerable state by talking about our mistakes, weaknesses and struggles. It is not with the intention to whine and complain, but to share our journey with others on how are coping, learning and overcoming.

It can even be the other way round where we might hear their stories on how they had overcome, and we get encouraged instead. Remember, nobody is perfect. It will be very unrealistic if you have no weaknesses to show!

When you are open to others, others will open up to you too. This can only happen from a place of true confidence and security where you feel totally at ease in having such conversations.

The truth is true confidence is an inner quality. It is not based on the external or our circumstances, no matter how bad things may look on the surface. It is an sustained inner peace, something that only God our maker can provide. It is not self-focused but God-focused. It is about internalising what God thinks and says about us.

Consider what God will do for you:

Since he did not spare even his own Son for us but gave him up for us all, won’t he also surely give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? Will God? No! He is the one who has forgiven us and given us right standing with himself.
Romans 8:32-33 (TLB)

We are so precious to God that He has to sacrifice His son on the cross, so that we may know Him and receive all that He has prepared for us to live a a fulfilling and abundant life in our lifetime, even before we are born.

Do not blindly copy and follow others, as it will lead to path of un-fulfilment, worry and anxiety in the long run. These are minefields that will blow up our confidence. We are all an original masterpiece created by Him. He wants us to live the original way that He created us for, not clones and copycats of others. Seek Him out on this.

Hopefully by now, you are able to see true confidence in a new light. Anyone can boost or fake confidence, but the real test lies in whether they are sustainable. When we place our confidence in the external where things can be fleeting and unpredictable, we are placing our self-worth and value to things that might be here today but gone tomorrow (maybe FB and IG will fade away someday, so what’s next?).

Being confident involves knowing who you are and being assured of your uniqueness. This is possible by having a relationship with Jesus who will reveal all things that God has for you. If you don’t know Jesus, I highly recommend that you consider inviting Him into your life to help you. If you are ready, head over to this page.

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Healthy Thoughts

7 Rules Of Becoming a Classy Woman

by artofmakeover February 16, 2020

7 Keys To Becoming a Poise Woman

If you are to imagine what a classy woman is like, how will you describe her?

For me, I see a well-groomed lady with perfectly done up hair, makeup and nails, immaculately dressed in classic Chanel suit, a fitted pencil skirt and matching accessories. For some, they might imagine a woman from the high society all decked out in fine designer wear, looking gorgeous, sleek and polished. The first thing that comes to mind is usually how poised and elegant they look.

That leaves me to ponder: Is being classy all about appearance and a display of social status?

Well, apparently there’s way more to this than just looks. Here’s an interesting fact. While reading up on this topic, I found that inner qualities account for at least 50% of the makings of a classy woman, with the other 50% spread across her looks, dressing and social etiquette.

In the olden days, it might be a norm to associate aristocratic women with class. This isn’t true anymore in our present time, especially in an information-rich and meritocratic society that we live in right now. It’s no longer about the social status; anyone can become a woman of class these days.

What I’m going to share are the new rules of how you can become a true woman of class. Even if a lady belongs to the upper echelons, she will be disqualified if she don’t observe the following 7 rules:

Rule #1 – Good Mannerism

A classy woman is always well-mannered. She greets people in a friendly manner, she’s generous with her smiles and is always ready to say ‘sorry’, ‘please’, ‘thank-you’ and ‘welcome’ at the appropriate time. Being loud and foul mouth are top taboos. The moment where a woman utter expletives or talk like a public nuisance is where she is declaring to the whole world that she’s a disaster. The key here is to avoid being rude and inconsiderate to others.

Rule #2 – Think Before Speaking

A classy woman is certainly not one who babbles non-stop and let loose her tongue without any self-restrain. Gossiping and bitching about others are something that she don’t participate, even though such discussion can be going on. I know we women like to whine and complain at times, but there is a difference between sharing our problems and frustrations with others vs. maliciously talking about people behind their backs. While the former can be a bonding activity between women, the latter is often an act of putting others down to indirectly make ourselves feel better.

This applies to arguments too. While a classy woman has a right to have her own opinions and is free to express them, she also knows when to walk away from one if the argument turns heated. She does not need to win an argument just to prove her point. It doesn’t mean she accepts defeat, she is simply a gracious lady by choosing to end the discussion instead of letting anger turn her into an ugly monster like her counterpart.

Remember, a classy woman is mindful of what she speaks and never loses her cool in public.

Rule #3- Good Social Etiquette

There’s a reason why deportment classes are always in demand, and that’s because women want to learn how to carry themselves well in public by the way they walk, in their posture etc. There are many aspects to what constitute good social etiquette, but the basics always include sitting upright and not slouching, not propping your leg up on the other like a man, talking when there’s still food in your mouth, eating with mouth opened, yawning with mouth wide opened and uncovered.

When talking to people, always look straight into the person’s eyes. Shifty eyes are a sign of disrespect. A woman of class is also mindful of putting her mobile phone aside and not fiddling with it while in the middle of a conversation. She knows that attending to her phone while talking to someone shows that she is not respecting the other person’s time.

Good hygiene is also part of her lifestyle. This means no wiping of nose with her sleeves, no body odors, no burping out loud in public, or worst still, spitting and nose-digging in public (eeww!). If you have do any of these, be sure to do it in private and save yourself the damage.

Rule #4 – Modesty Is a Good Virtue

Being modest is about being to down-to-earth and humble. This means we will not expect diva-like antics, boastfulness and haughtiness coming from a classy lady. She accepts compliments with sincere gratitude, treats everyone with respect and sees no need to display power over anyone.

This also applies to her dressing. She dresses not to impress, but to express. She knows her body well enough to dress in a way that enhances her beauty. Something that will hide her flaws, fits her perfectly yet suits her style.

Flamboyant dressing, over-the-top look, showing of too much skin and cleavage is also almost a no-no. It doesn’t mean she cannot show her nice skin or cleavage at all. If she does, the purpose is always to enhance and not to attract attention, so it must be done appropriately and in good taste. A classy woman is a big fan of subtlety; she is confident enough to know that she doesn’t need to dress loudly or be seen in the latest trends all the time to make a statement.

Rule #5 – Authenticity

A classy woman is free to be herself. She laughs heartily when she’s joyful, cry when she’s sad, empathize with others who are going through pain and dances when she feels like it. She’s non-pretentious, knows how to enjoy herself and embraces life with a positive outlook. A lady with no display of emotions will come across as rigid and cold, which is not what a classy woman is about.

Rule #6 – Putting Best Face Forward

Stepping out of the house with a bare-face is a rarity for a classy woman. Unless she has perfect, flawless and even-toned skin, otherwise there will always be some makeup done to cover up their flaws. I am not saying that she has to spend hours putting on full makeup all the time. It’s usually about hiding the dark circles, toning down the puffy eyes, putting some blusher and a dab of lipstick before stepping out of the house. It can even be a simple barely-there light makeup for a casual walk in the park. The key is to look bright and healthy, not pale, tired and sickly.

Rule #7 – Confidence

This has been mentioned above, but it’s needs to be emphasized as a rule because it is a very important thing. It is what sets a classy woman apart from a showy woman.

Confidence is the foundational block, without this it is almost impossible to live as a true classy woman. Confidence means not having to play miss-nice all the time just to get others’ approval, not trying to manipulate or impress people, and certainly not putting others down and elevating oneself. It means being sure of your value and worth as a great woman no matter what people say.

A classy woman knows how to embrace and bring out her femininity. She has her own thoughts and opinions and is not afraid to speak up at the right time, but also knows when is the appropriate time to step back and tone down.

Final thoughts

As I’m writing this post, I started to remember my days of working for a high-end jewelry store. There were a number of socialites among our clientele and I can relate how true they were as a woman of class. Here are some examples:

1) Socialite A loves to attend all the high society balls and she has to wear something different every time and will not be caught dead in wearing the same thing twice.

2) Then there’s socialite B who is always in rivalry with another socialite and always want to outshine her by buying bigger and better things than her.

3) Socialite C is one who is very well-groomed and turns heads in public, but she rarely smiles and treats service staff like they are non-existent.

4) Socialite D is one that I will always remember because of her genuineness. She’s loves chatting with the service staff and finding out more about them, and even shows her concern for some. Not only does she dress well, she is friendly and warm.

5) Socialite E is well-known locally and is from a mega-rich family. She can look stunning in formal events or minimally stylish on casual days. Despite her fame and status, she is surprisingly friendly to service staff and has no diva-style requests. In fact, she is so easy to serve and she puts everyone at ease.

By now, I’m sure you can tell who are ones with real class and who are the ones that don’t. Classiness cannot be bought by money, it has to be cultivated. Sadly to say, some of these socialites haven’t quite got the point yet.

Being a true classy woman is not an easy thing. I’m sure there are more rules to what defines a classy woman. The point is we can always learn how to improve our physical aspects easily, things like style, dressing and social etiquette. Those that involve characteristic changes are the hardest, because we need time and deliberate effort to change and to adopt new habits or thinking.

If you are feeling dishearten, fret not, because I am also a work-in-progress and far from following some of the rules above. Remember, anything that requires cultivation takes time. I believe if we really aspire to be a classy woman, we can truly become one by being more mindful of these rules and making an effort to improve ourselves every day, even if its a small one. Do it often enough and it becomes our second nature. Don’t stop practicing and soon you’ll be on your way to become a true classy lady before you even realized!

So what are your thoughts on the definitions of a classy woman? Do you think it is achievable? Feel free to share your comment below.

(Header Image Credit: Irish News)

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Healthy Thoughts

6 Hacks To Make Others Like You More

by artofmakeover February 25, 2016

How to make others like you more

Do you feel awkward talking to new people?

Ever wonder why some people can easily talk, joke and laugh with new people they just met?

How do you increase your charisma so that people will like you more?

If you have ever asked yourself these sort of questions before, fret not, because this is exactly the post for you.

By observing these 6 hacks, getting people to like you will be become a breeze.

#1 Send Positive Body Language

Making a good impression on others means people have to feel positively about you.

Imagine going on a first date with someone you fancy. You are aware of being evaluated.

You subconsciously try to impress your date with the things you say, by leaning forward, smiling and laughing more with the hope of turning the relationship into something more.

Its the same when meeting new people, the only difference is that you have to be consciously aware of your body language, how you are presenting yourself and reacting to the other party.

Here are some of the ‘universal’ dos and don’ts of making a good impression with your body language.

‘Do’s

‘Don’t Do’s

Make Eye Contact

Shifty Eyes

Firm Handshake

Limp/Weak Grip

Nod your head to show interest in the conversation

Stiff or no expression

Lean Forward

Relaxing back/Slouching

Crossed arms

Folded arms

Smile

Stiff or no expression

Talk at the same speed as your conversation partner

Talking too fast or too slow

#2 Ensure Reciprocity In a Conversation

However, trying too hard to impress someone might backfire if it comes across as being a showoff or a fake.

Using the dating analogy, pretend that you are guy going on a date with a girl.

You and your date starts talking about diving. Its a topic you know a lot because diving is your hobby.

You talk enthusiastically about diving because you are excited to share your knowledge and the experience of the dive trips you’ve been to.

Your date is a newbie and is currently learning to dive. She has limited experience in this area and has lesser things to contribute to the topic.

She smiles and nods her head attentively as she listens to you.

You feel good because you think she’s interested by the things you say and so you continue.

Or is it really?

Truth is, you are probably talking 80% of the time and are not giving much chance for the girl to talk.

There’s no reciprocity in the conversation. The girl probably feels that its all one-sided.

She might even think that you are a show-off and an inconsiderate person who thinks only himself.

Yet, you assumed she’s captivated.

This is a common mistake that most people make, and that is, talking too much about themselves.

It is not enough to make people feel positively about you, you have to make people feel good about themselves too.

This is the law of reciprocity.

So how exactly do you do that?

By asking more open questions and finding out something about them that is praiseworthy. Be curious about the person and get them to share their thoughts, feelings and emotions.

In the example above, the guy can draw out more from the girl by asking what makes her pick up diving.

Perhaps she is sick of having to snorkel all the time when she goes to a beach resort and wants to try something different. In this case, her adventurous spirit is commendable, so the guy can praise her for being an adventurous person.

If she can’t really swim, yet still go ahead with learning diving, then she’s probably a brave person and this is a trait that is praise worthy.

You see where I’m coming from?

When you give someone a chance to talk and make them feel good about themselves at the same time, chances are, you will leave a deep and lasting impression on that person.

#3 Maintain a 50-50 Conversation

Continuing from the point above, the extreme end of making people feel good about themselves is not to keep asking them questions and make them talk all the time while you remain pretty much silent.

Asking someone too many questions will come across as an interrogation, even though you might be genuinely interested in that person.

Not to mention that it is very tiring for the other party to keep talking without a break.

Besides, how do you expect to make people remember you when they seems to be talking to themselves and don’t even know a thing about you?

Let alone leaving a good impression.

A good conversation is all about giving and taking. You take in information about the other person by asking questions and then give out information by sharing things about yourself.

Make sure that there’s a fair balance between the taking and sharing. 50-50 is a good rule of thumb to abide.

#4 Banish All Negative Talk

When you meet someone for the first time, make sure to avoid any negative language or conversation, such as complaining about the weather or traffic, or talking about the stress that you are facing in your job or in your life.

Not that you can’t talk about these things, but there is an appropriate time and place for such discussions (usually with close friends or colleagues), and its definitely not with someone whom you just met!

If you start your conversation by framing it in a negative tone, you can spread negative energy unknowingly to the other person, which can sometimes spread faster than positive energy!

Do you use many negative vocabulary, such as boring, bland, disgusting, and embarrassing in your sentences?

Not that you can’t use these words. It depends on the context of your conversation and how you use them.

Of course, if you are telling a joke or a funny incident that somehow involves some negative aspects, then it’s appropriate to use these words to best describe the scenario.

In this case, the context is positive because you are entertaining someone and not pouring out your woes on the other party.

You may use this list as a reference on what are the negative vocabulary to avoid.

Know that the first meeting with someone new is always short and perhaps special.

Hence, we ought to be more generous socially by putting others’ needs before ours during that moment.

This puts you in a great light with others of being selfless and generous.

If you fail to do that, people might assume that you are an emo and draining person to be around, and that’s definitely an instant people repellant!

Interestingly, this is also known the mood quotient (MQ), and it has a great subconscious impact on people who don’t know you well enough yet.

So ask yourself, do you have high or low MQ?

In other words, are you displaying a positive or a negative mood in the first meeting?

#5 Use The ACEE Rule

By now, you might be wondering what kind of things are good to talk for a first meeting that will leave a positive impression on someone else.

A good rule of thumb is to follow the ACEE rule as below:

A – Appreciation

Find out something good or unique about the person whom you are having a conversation with, such as qualities that you can genuinely appreciate or praise him or her for. It can be on their style, unique hobbies or their accomplishment.

This is also briefly mentioned in point #2 about the diving example.

You can also listen to what the person is sharing and then ask them further questions on the same topic, like how do they feel about it, what do they do, or why do they do something and etc.

Open-ended questions like these (what/why/how) will encourage the person to talk more and will create the opportunities for them to reveal their positive side .

C – Connection

Connection is finding a common ground with the other party, such as sharing similar hobbies, experience, viewpoints or even knowing mutual friends.

Phrases like ‘I know how you feel’, ‘I totally agree with your point’ or ‘I’ve been to Japan too’ are usually used in the conversation.

When you share similarities, you are sending a ‘I’m like you’ signal to the other person. It makes them feel understood and that you are on their side.

E – Elevation

People are drawn light-hearted, entertaining, humorous and uplifting conversations that will create a positive experience.

This is related to point #4, where you banish all negative talk, which is the opposite end of elevation.

There are many ways you can elevate someone’s mood, such as smiling, being encouraging, speaking positively, injecting humor, sharing heart-warming stories etc.

E – Enlightenment

Sharing your enlightenment can make you come across as a more intellectual, stimulating and appealing person to hang around with.

People are naturally curious and like to learn new things.

You can share things like current affairs, interesting culture that you came across from your travels, facts, trival, statistics, ideas or even wisdom that you have gleaned from past experience.

When using ACEE, be sure to use them proportionately and appropriately according to the context of your conversation.

If you are on date, it’s best that you can use these four styles of conversation. However, if its a business networking session, perhaps connection and enlightenment might be more appropriate.

Be careful not to overdo any of these styles, or you come across as being fake.

Moderation is the key.

#6 Use their Name

Using someone’s name in a conversation can be a effective connection trigger.

It acknowledges the person’s unique identity and boosts his or her ego in a subtle way. If you are meeting someone for the first time, this can be even more powerful.

You see, people don’t normally remember names of new people they just met.

If you can get the person’s name during introduction and then use it at appropriate times during your initial conversation, chances are, you will leave a deep impression on that person.

This is also a common sales technique that skillful sales professionals use when trying to close a sale, which is why they usually try to get your name in the beginning and will always close the conversation with your name too.

The key is to weave their names into the conversation as naturally as possible.

For example, “John, I think you should try windsurfing, you will good at it since you are already good at surfing.” Or “Mary, can you imagine if your birthday falls on new year’s eve? People around the world will be celebrating with you!”

Bear in mind not to overdo it or you will come across as being manipulative.

Also, be sure observe the person’s expression and body language when you use their name.

While most people will react positively, some people might feel uncomfortable, tense or irritated for unknown reasons. You don’t want keep pushing that red button! If so, drop the name-calling, at least for the rest of the conversation.

Why Bother Impressing Others? I Am Who I Am…

You might ask, why are these important?

Sure, you might not want to impress everyone whom you met and you might even prefer to be different and not following ‘rules’ like everyone else.

No doubt it is a personal choice, learning how to leave a positive impression on others is really a life skill that can help you harness the power of connecting with people easily.

Once you get the hang of it, it becomes easier and almost automatic.

Making a good impression on others is not the same as maintaining a good relationship with someone. While the latter requires the mutual needs of both parties to be met, the former is usually about putting others’ needs first before our own.

Truth is, people often form an opinion about you based on limited or superficial information like your body language and conversation style.

Perhaps you are a shy person and don’t talk much to new people, but you may come across as a quiet, aloof or even anti-social person to the other party.

But in reality, you are actually a warm person who likes to connect with people.

How do you reconcile this?

By ensuring that the first impression you gave others matches with who you actually are, as accurately as possible.

Creating the right first impression will help you synchronise your inner self with your outer self, so that you appear more real and genuine to others.

With these, you are now left with a choice. You can either choose to make positive changes or remain unchanged.

Well, I sincerely hope you will choose the latter!

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